I know that God is in control. I believe with everything that is in me that I am his child. However, I am really struggling this morning. Over Christmas break, a local bank was robbed. This bank is right next to my kid's preschool. They have not caught the perpetrator and this leaves me very uneasy. Today was the first day back for the boys. After a night spent tossing, turning and crying out to God for peace and assurance, I cautiously took the boys to school. I did speak to their teachers and the director about safety and their emergency plans. So much of me, just wants to go get them and begin homeschooling them so I can be assured of their safety. However, Gavin and Owen both get so much out of being there with their peers and also having different personalities in trusting, caring adults to foster their learning and creativity. I know that I won't always be there or be able to protect them, that I can't shelter them forever. That is my desire though, to keep them safe and know they will never be hurt.
This is where my spiritual warfare begins. I know that God does not give me fear but peace; that this uneasy, out of control feeling is not from Him. Also, why is it so hard for me to give Him total control over my kids. Afterall, they were first and still His. I don't want to live my life fearing the worst.
Lord, I pray that you will deliver me from these fears and battle these demons. I can't do it on my own. Amen.
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1 comment:
I hope your day was better and you handed it all over :)
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