Random Thoughts

I haven't blogged much lately. I have just been in a funk. I feel a little more hormonal than usual and have been reading a lot and trying to get the house clean and organized before Emma Kate's arrival.

One of the hardest things I have ever done is raising my boys. It is also the most rewarding and the best thing about my life. However, I constantly second guess myself and wonder if later in life I will regret certain decisions I have made. Gavin has been the harder child to parent just because he is our trial and error child. I know that I have been harder on him and expect more of him versus his brother which is the very thing I swore I wouldn't do(being an older child myself). It causes me great agony when we have a problem or behavior that we need to change with him and we end up fishing in the dark to overcome it.

(This is Gavin last summer. It is one of my favorite pictures of him.)

That said, Gavin is the most thankful and appreciative child I know. He will constantly tell me "thank you" or "you're the best mommy ever" for little everyday things that make him happy. I am almost positive I was never that grateful as a child and am probably not even as an adult. It really warms my heart when he does this and helps me to reflect on my life and let those in it know how much I love them and appreciate them. I just hope that he grows up knowing that I am doing my best for him regardless of any mistakes that I make.